Nettie Wells studied the person sitting across the old wooden table from her. Her kind heart ached for the young man sitting with slumped shoulders and down cast eyes. She didn’t know any words to say to lessen his pain and so remained silent, her thoughts going back in time to when she had first met him....
*******
It was summer, hot and dry and she was up to her elbows in canning and preserving the produce from her garden. Granted, it was easier to buy canned vegetables in the grocery these days, but old habits died hard and she remembered the day when she had been too poor to make those purchases. Never one to shirk hard work, she still persisted in putting up the tomatoes, green beans, peas, and corn she raised by her own hand.
Looking up from the steaming caldron holding the Ball and Kerr jars, she heard the sound of a vehicle pulling in her drive. She frowned in disgust. Normally she welcomed visitors but she didn’t have time to socialize with company today.
Wiping her hands on her apron, she moved to the back door, and shading her eyes to look out, recognized her brother in law’s truck. Shaking her head, she turned back to the table, tightening the lids on the cooled jars, knowing Jamie would find his own way in.
She was surprised to hear him talking to someone and as the screen door opened, she looked up to see him standing just inside the kitchen, another man beside him.
“Hey, Nettie, don’t ya know it’s too hot to be doin’ all that?” the jovial man teased, moving to give his sister in law a hug and quick peck on the cheek. “They sell veggies already canned in the stores these days,” he teased.
Blue eyes flashing with amusement, she lightly punched his shoulder. “How would you know?” Realizing the other man hadn’t moved out of the doorway, she turned to him. “C’mon in, or the flies’ll take over the place.”
Dropping his head, embarrassment flushing his cheeks pink, the young man stepped on in, letting the old wooden screen door slam shut behind him.
“Nettie Wells, this is Vin Tanner. Vin, this is Nettie. Don’t worry, she growls but she rarely bites.”
Stepping closer, Tanner awkwardly held out his hand.
Nettie grasped it firmly, her eyes raking over the young man. Jamie Watson had a bad habit of taking in strays off the street and had been known to bring criminals of all kinds into her home, mostly vandals and petty thieves in need of rehabilitation.
She really didn’t mind, understanding that Jamie wanted to help anyone and everyone and he always kept a close eye on those he brought to her house. It was just his nature, but sometimes, his actions made her leery.
“So, what did he bust you for?” she questioned the young man.
Jamie roared with laughter and Tanner’s face flushed again. “Hell’s bells, Nettie, he’s just been accepted as one of the new cadets at the police academy,” the older man choked out, swiping at his tearing eyes.
Nettie stepped back, looking the young man up and down. He was far too young, far too thin, his hair too long, his clothes just short of ragged. She would have taken him for homeless or a runaway living on the streets.
“You’re joking?” she blurted out.
Azure blue eyes flashed as the young man lifted his chin defiantly. “No, ma’am, he ain’t.”
“They’re takin’ ‘em mighty young these days,” she muttered, shaking her head. Turning back to Jamie, she frowned, “Just what ya doin’ all the way out here?”
“Well, it was such a pretty day and Vin there was craving some fresh pine scented air.”
“They got it in them air freshener cans these days,” she pointed out, throwing Jamie's own words back at him in a teasing tone.
“Vin says it ain’t the same. ‘Sides, I wanted to check out your truck. Ya said the brakes were grabbing on it the last time I talked to ya.”
“Weren’t nothing. I remembered I drove through the creek to get back to the south pasture. Must have held the moisture. It’s doing fine now,” she assured him.
“Well, I’ll take a look at them anyway.” He turned, pushing the door open. “C’mon, Vin.”
“Let me get this last batch done up and I’ll see about fixing us a bite. Figured ya came out here to bum a meal seeing as how you get sick of what passes for your own cooking,” she called after them.
Jamie flashed her a bright smile. “You know me too well, Nettie.”
With a slight nod to her, the young man followed Jamie out and she turned back to her canning. Moving about the kitchen, she paused, her gaze drifting beyond the window to where the young man had wandered across the yard and was staring at her flower bed.
With all the work in the garden and her canning, the flowers had been left to fend for themselves and the weeds had taken over. She watched for several moments as the young man just stood looking at the weed encroached flowers, then with a shrug, dismissing him for more pressing matters, she turned back to her jars.
Sometime later, the jars filled and cooling, the kitchen straightened, potatoes on boiling for supper and leftover meat loaf warming in the oven, she dried her hands and headed outside.
Jamie was still tinkering on her truck, checking the lights and fluids. He made it a point to do maintenance on her vehicle, knowing how much she relied on the old pickup.
Glancing around, she frowned as she saw no sight of the long haired man. Her frown deepened, wondering if Jamie had been taken in yet again. She had cautioned him repeatedly about the drifters he persisted in helping. This even though several months previous he had been assaulted by a runaway who had gotten toked up and beat him unconscious for the few dollars he had been carrying.
Still Jamie refused to see the bad in anyone, a worrisome trait for someone in his chosen profession. Because he had a streak of altruism and goodness in him, he refused to see any less in anyone else, no matter their station in life. Each time she expressed concern, he laughed her caution aside, assuring her he was big boy and could take care of himself.
She tapped on the truck windshield, getting Jamie’s attention. “Where’s your friend?”
He looked about. “Around.”
A small scowl settled on her features. Cadet or no, just her luck he was scoping out her place to see what his friends could steal. She really was going to have to put her foot down regarding these strays of Jamie’s.
Striding around the house, she froze, blinking in disbelief.
Her flower bed had been weeded, the blossoms standing clear and straight in colorful beauty. The brick edging had been straightened, as had the trellis, the morning glory tendrils carefully twined up its sides. She looked over, and saw the young man coming around the house, dusting his dirty hands on his torn jeans.
Nettie moved for him, and when he saw her, he stopped in his tracks, ducking his head. “You did that?” she motioned toward the flowers and he nodded once. “Why?” she demanded.
He lifted his head slightly, staring at her from out from under his long hair. “Figured they needed a little help to be at their best, ma’am,” he utterly softly, his expression guarded as if unsure her response.
She nodded, realizing how ungrateful she'd sounded. “You’re right. I just haven’t had the time to weed them. You did a good job. Thanks.”
He flushed at her compliment. “I-I put the weeds on your compost heap. That okay?”
Nettie nodded again. “That’s fine.” She walked over to the flowers, reaching down to touch one of the bright blossoms, noticing the careful way he had pulled the weeds without damaging the flowers.
“Damn fine job.” she repeated, then with a smile she added, “Garden’s gonna be downright jealous!”
A small smile played on his somber features, making him appear no more than a boy. She had thought him slow, but his bright eyes showed an intelligent mind, despite the shadowed sorrow in the bright blue depths and she realized this person had been hurt deeply somewhere in his life. Whatever the cause of such hurt, he was struggling hard to overcome it...
She lifted her chin towards the house. “Supper’s near ready. C’mon in, and get cleaned up.”
He followed her inside and she showed him to the bathroom off the utility room, pointing out the towels and soap before returning to the kitchen to finish supper.
As they finished dinner and sat enjoying their coffee, Nettie marveled at the young man's capacity for eating. He rivaled Jamie when it came to putting it away and she wondered if he ate like that all the time why he was so slender. Her voice of reason pointed out he probably didn’t eat like that all the time....
Curiosity getting the better of her, she rested her elbows on the table, lowering her cup in front of her and questioned, “So, Vin, what do your folks think about you being a cop?”
He nervously crossed his empty plate with his fork and knife as he’d seen Jamie do and without raising his eyes, murmured, “Ain’t got none.”
Her eyes flared wide as she shot a look at Jamie. “You don’t have parents?”
He shook his head. “No, ma’am, no folks.”
“No one at all?” she persisted.
“No, ma’am.” There was sadness in his voice, a wistfulness of wanting something which never could be.
She looked at Jamie who returned her look with a slight cock of his head, waiting and watching her response. “Well, we’ll just have to do something about that!” she blurted out.
The soulful blue eyes came up to stare at her in puzzlement. “Beg pardon?”
“Obviously ya got Jamie in your corner, but he’s no role model,” the big man guffawed aloud at that as she ignored him, adding, “Ya need...”
“Don’t need nothing’,” Vin blurted out, a tad too quickly, his look distrustful. “Doin’ just fine.”
Her eyebrows arched at his fierce independence. “I was going to say if you need another friend in your corner......”
Her soft words seemed to startle Tanner and he sat back, confusion evident in his face and eyes. “Don’t need....” he began again, his tone a little subdued.
“Yeah, you don’t need, but if ya ever do....” she trailed off.
He nodded once, not seeing the pleased look on Jamie’s face. The older man had known all he had to do was get the two of them together and Nettie would melt like butter before the kid’s soulful blue eyes.
When Nettie pushed from the table and moved to the sink to wash the dishes, leaving Jamie to finish his coffee, Vin stood and followed, reaching for the dish towel hanging on the rack.
At her startled look, he softly admitted, “Least I can do in return for that fine meal, ma’am.”
Realizing he felt he had to pay in some way, she thanked him and handed him the wet plates, noting out of the corner of her eye the careful way he handled each, taking care to gingerly place them on the counter when he was finished.
It was after dark when Jamie finally stood and stretched. “Well, Nettie, guess we’ve ruined your day so it’s time to leave.”
“Harrumph....” she groused good naturedly. “Knew ya just came out for supper,” she ribbed.
“Aw, darlin’, you’re on to me,” he joked, giving her a big hug as he headed out the door.
Vin hesitated in the door behind him. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“You’re welcome, young man. Now don’t be a stranger. You come back anytime,” she offered, wondering if he would ever take her up on the offer.
“Thanks, ma’am.” He gave her a shy lop sided smile and followed Jamie to his vehicle.
Nettie watched them drive out, then turning out the porch light, she moved back inside. Pouring a cup of coffee, she settled in her old Hepplewhite chair as the evening’s quiet reflective loneliness settled about her.
*******
It was a month later before she saw the shy young man again. Casey, her twelve year old niece, was in town visiting for a few days and Jamie wanted to see the girl. Having free time, and needing to shop, she’d loaded Casey into the truck and headed into town.
Jamie was off duty and mowing the grass in his small yard when she pulled into the driveway of his modest two bedroom house. With a wide smile, he motioned to the last strip he needed to do and she nodded. She and Casey settled on the porch to wait on him to finish.
Over the loud racket of the lawn mower, she heard another sound.... a deep steady purr and looking about, she saw a black motorcycle and rider pull in behind her truck. A Harley, she realized as the man killed the engine, kicked down the stand and dismounted, pulling off his full face helmet to reveal Vin Tanner. Slinging the helmet on the handlebar, he approached the porch.
“Mister Tanner! What a nice surprise. How are you?” She was genuinely pleased to see the young man. Nettie didn't think it was possible for Jamie's protégé to look any younger than when she'd first met him, but with his hair cut short for academy regulations and clean shaven, he appeared no older than a teenager.
He nodded, pleasure shining in his expressive eyes. “Miz Nettie, good ta see ya.” He dropped down on the porch step, looking up at her, then nodding to the child. “And this must be Casey.” Jamie had spoken of nothing else the last time they had gotten together over pizza.
The little girl scrambled to her feet and shyly approached the young man, “Is that your bike?” He nodded. “Why does it have a motor instead of pedals?” Casey obviously had never known anyone who owned a motorcycle.
A smile spread across the young man’s face. “Well, it needs to go fast and I can’t pedal that hard,” he offered.
“Oh,” she nodded with all the seeming intelligence of a twelve year old and turned to Nettie, “Can I go for a ride on it, Auntie?”
“You absolutely may....” her denial died in her throat at the look on Tanner’s face. It was all too evident he would enjoy taking the child on the cycle. Nettie eyed him seriously, “She wears a helmet and just around this block. I’d never hear the end of it from her Ma if she got hurt.” She laid down the rules and with a nod, Vin grabbed Casey’s hand and escorted her down the drive to the Harley.
He took great care in buckling the too large helmet on her head, carefully brushing back her long hair. Unstrapping a battered leather jacket from the rear carrier, he tucked it about her, and settling her in front of him, he climbed on and fired up the machine with a noisy roar.
Casey let out a scream, and he bent to whisper in her ear as he walked the bike backwards out of the driveway and making certain the child was ready, slowly cruised up the street.
Nettie watched them, noting with quiet approval the extra special care Tanner took to protect the child and a small smile settled on her face as Jamie killed the lawn mower and moved to flop down on the step Tanner had just vacated.
“So, Vin’s taking Casey for a ride?”
She nodded.
“She’ll be fine with him.... I can’t believe how that child has grown. She was what? Six when Ellen moved back east?”
Nettie nodded. “Shame we don’t see her more often,” she pointed out sadly. With Earl’s death six years earlier, Ellen had moved back east to raise her daughter, living with her parents who had died the previous summer.
Nettie had tried to talk Ellen into returning back to Colorado to raise Casey with what was left of Earl’s family, but Ellen had steadfastly refused. She had hated her life in the west and saw no need to drag her child back. Still, she did allow Casey to visit in the summers and over school holidays and Nettie looked forward to each visit.
While Nettie truly liked Ellen, she didn't think the woman was doing her young daughter any good by attempting to keep her secluded from the world. Ellen had always worried because Casey was smaller than other children her age and suffered from asthma, a condition the doctor had assured her the little girl would most likely outgrow.
Casey would certainly get a fine education at the private boarding school she attended, but what good was a formal education without life experience to accompany it?
Nettie loved children, but had never been able to have any of her own. Perhaps that was why she had turned to teaching... and had loved every minute of it. When they had bought the ranch she had switched to substitute teaching, filling in when the schools needed her, knowing the extra money would come in handy, but more often than not, she found herself working beside her husband toward their common goal.
Then with her husband’s death, she had quit teaching altogether to work the ranch, wanting to maintain that one dream the both of them had held together. It was hard at times, but Jamie was always around when she needed help and she had good neighbors and part time employees.
She ran several hundred head of cattle on four hundred acres, and, although it was extremely difficult at times, Nettie could not conceive of any other life.
Nodding towards the street, she quietly questioned, “How’s that boy doin’?”
“Vin? He’s doin’ pretty good,” Jamie hedged.
“He live ‘round here close?” she pried.
“Nope, lives down in Purgatorio.”
That confession led to the explosion he expected it would.
“Purgatorio?” she sputtered, sitting up straight. “Purgatorio? That boy lives in Purgatorio?” She spoke the name as if it was hell itself.
Jamie shrugged. “Said it was all he could afford.”
“Ain’t nothing down there, but drug dealers and whores.”
Jamie sharply arched his eyebrows. “And how would you know such a thing, Miz Nettie?”
“Oh, fudge, Jamie! I ain’t blind and I ain’t deaf. I watch the news and read the papers. Ain’t a day goes by something awful isn’t happening down there. Killings, drug dealings...” She shuddered. “That’s no way for a body to live,” she whispered, strange emotions flooding through her.
In the short time she had been around the young Tanner boy, she had realized, deep on some inner level, the young man had a vulnerable innocence and goodness and it hurt her to think someone like that was living in such a hellhole of a place.
Jamie shook his head, holding up his hand to forestall her next words. “Don’t even say it. I done asked him a dozen times to move in here. Hell, there’s plenty of room, but he won’t do it. Got a streak of independence in him that rivals.....well, hell, Nettie, rivals yours.”
She gave him a cross look. In her years of teaching she had encountered plenty of children who were from the wrong side of the tracks. A few of the persistent ones had managed to break out beyond the hard life and easy money the lure of dealing drugs and street life offered. But for every one saved, ten were lost..... It tore at her heart to think someone like Tanner might be one of the ten.
“He’s a good kid, Nettie. He’s got a good head on his shoulders. Don’t you be fretting about him giving in.” Jamie seemed to read her thoughts. “He’s dead set on being a cop and I don’t think nothing is gonna get in his way.”
“Hope you’re right,” she whispered, as a deep rumbling signaled the Harley’s return.
Casey jumped down from the bike and ran towards her aunt, the helmet bouncing up and down on her head and the leather jacket’s sleeves dragging on the ground.
“Nettie! Nettie! Vin took me by the playground and all the kids saw me. He said I was a biker babe and we’s cruising! Can I do it again, Nettie? Please? Please?”
The excited child begged, jumping up and down.
Vin moved up the drive, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips at the child’s uncontained enthusiasm. “Hey, let’s get something to drink first, huh?”
Jamie climbed to his feet and wandered inside as the young man sat down cross legged in the newly cut grass. Casey threw herself at him, wrapping her arms about his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Vin!”
Flustered, not use to emotional displays, he gave her a quick shy hug and set her back on her feet. “You’re welcome.” He reached out; unzipping the jacket and helping her tug it off.
“Can we do it again?” she begged, clutching the helmet, not wanting to return it to him.
“Depends on what Miz Nettie says.” He accepted the cold Pepsi Jamie handed him and popping the top, stretched out in the grass, bracing himself on his elbows as he watched Casey move to tackle Nettie.
A wistfulness settled on his face as he watched the three family members. There was just something indefinable which proclaimed them to be family..... and a feeling of intense envy washed over him for it was something he had never known and would never know.
Nettie watched him out of the corner of her eye as she took a sip of her cold drink. While the man showed shy reserve with her, he was open with Casey, the sparkle of a little boy’s fun loving personality shining through. She saw the poignant expression flicker over his face as he watched them and her breath caught, remembering what he had said about having no family. How very hard it must be for him to see such closeness, never experiencing it himself, she thought.
“C’mon, darlin’,” Jamie took Casey’s hand. “I think I have some Popsicles in the freezer with your name on them.” The child followed him inside, leaving the woman and young man alone.
Nettie swirled the soda in her can. “You know she’s never going to shut up about that ride, don’t you?” she lamented softly.
“Sorry, ma’am...” Vin started to apologize, but she held up her hand.
“It’s good to see her happy. She’s been missing her mom and friends from back east,” she admitted, once again feeling strangely drawn to this quiet stranger.
“She here for long?” He questioned, sipping his soda.
“Just another week. I’ll miss her when she’s gone.”
“Yes, ma’am, I reckon ya will at that.” He fell silent, and not wanting to make small talk, she sipped at her drink.
After several long minutes, he cleared his throat. “Ma’am?”
She looked at him, noticing he had straightened and was toying with the can in his hand. She waited expectantly for him to voice what was on his mind and he seemed to take care in choosing his words.
“Jamie says ya own quite a few acres.” It wasn’t a question, but she nodded. “Was wonderin’, well, if it ain’t a bother and if ya don’t mind, well, ma’am, would I be outta line askin’ if maybe I could come out there and do some hikin’? “
“Hiking?” she repeated, puzzled.
“Yes’am. I like to get out and walk and well, the city...” he shrugged. “It’s nothin’. Forget I asked.”
“But of course you can! There’s some right pretty little valleys and such off to the west. Course they’d be overnighters, but well worth it when you have the time. Or, you could take one of the horses and ride up. I’ll admit it ain’t hiking, but it’ll clear the city smog from your lungs.”
His blue eyes sparkled, “Ya mean it, ma’am?”
“Don’t say what I don’t mean, Mister Tanner,” she pointed out with a smile. Then becoming serious, she added, “There is one stipulation.”
His face fell. He should have known. There were always strings attached.
She slowly went on. “I would ask you let me know when you’re going off by yourself. Leave a note or something, if I'm not home but just don’t go off by yourself. It isn’t safe.”
“But I’ve always...” he bit back the retort he had always done everything alone and had thought nothing of it. This eagle eyed woman, showing consideration for his welfare, wasn’t about to let him get by. Strangely moved by her concern, he nodded.
“Yes’am,” he offered sincerely. “I promise.”
“Good!” She pushed to her feet, somehow knowing he was the type to keep his word. “Why don’t we slip in and see if any of those treats have our names on them?”
With a small smile, Vin followed her inside.
*******
Casey had been gone for a week and the days were getting shorter as late summer gave way to fall. The air took on a nip and the aspens were turning golden. Nettie, preparing for winter, kept busy, trying to keep from missing the girl too much.
This day she had driven her old truck into town to pick up feed and as she pulled back into her drive, a smile lit her face. There, under the old pine tree was a vaguely familiar black Harley. She climbed from the cab, looking around.
“Tanner?” she called his name, but received no response. Disappointed, she headed for the house to change into her work clothes.
The single sheet of white paper fluttered in the crack of the screen door got her attention as she reached for the door. Withdrawing it, she unfolded it. Badly scrawled were two lines. “Miz Nettie: Gone hiking. Be back late tonight.” There was no signature.
A smile danced across her face. Well, she had to admit, he had let her know and that was what she had asked. Still smiling, she moved inside, pulling several steaks from the freezer to thaw before hurrying to change her clothes.
*******
The sun had set and dusk had fallen by the time she heard a quiet knock on her back door. Opening it, the golden light from within spilled across the slender denim and flannel clad figure standing on the step.
“Vin! C’mon in!” She threw the door wide.
“Aw, no thank ya, ma’am. Just thought I’d let ya know I’s leavin’ and to thank ya again.”
“Nonsense, Vin. C’mon in. Supper’s on and I do so hate to eat alone.” She grabbed his flannel sleeve, tugging him inside, smiling to herself as he held back, and then gave in as the aroma of food wafted around them. “I hope you like steak..... Growing boy like you probably worked up quite an appetite. Did you have any lunch with you?”
He shook his head as she bustled around the kitchen, placing the dishes on the table. "Ate a couple apples off a tree up in the high meadow."
“You must be starved. Go on, wash up.” She shooed him towards the washroom and finished dishing up the food.
When he returned, she motioned him to one of the chairs. “Sit.”
Blinking as if afraid to disobey her, he sat and she ladled his plate full: rib-eye steak, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, fresh baked rolls..... He stared at the plate as if it would bite him as she settled down and filled her own plate.
“Don’t tell me you don’t like steak,” she half teased, as he slowly picked up his knife and fork.
“No, ma’am.” He lowered the utensils to stare at her. “Truth to tell, ma’am, weren’t expectin’ ya to feed me.... Didn’t come out here...” “Know ya didn't," she stated. "But it's always nice having friends stop by, Vin. And I do so hate to eat alone, so hush now and dig in.”
“Yes’am.” So saying he attacked the food, cleaning his plate as she quietly watched with a smile.
*******
That fall, the black Harley became a familiar fixture around Nettie’s place, Vin making it a point to show up at least once a week. Sometimes to hike, sometimes just to pitch in and lend a hand when he knew something needed done.
And Nettie looked forward to his visits, as much as she did to Jamie’s. The young cadet was opening up, literally blossoming under her watchful eye, and becoming more outgoing. He was still shy and reserved, but she had discovered those blue eyes hid a sly wit and he was not beyond teasing and playing practical jokes, most of the latter aimed at Jamie. And she took credit for the much needed weight he'd gained, certain it was the home cooked meals she prepared each time he visited.
Fall turned into winter and the first snowflakes drifted down. Nettie worried herself sick over Vin riding his beloved Harley on the snow slick back roads. He had finally explained to her he had bought it with the money from his days in the military and she knew it was his most cherished possession.
Worrying and fretting as the snows continued down, knowing he had promised her he would be out that afternoon, she breathed a sigh of relief when she heard a vehicle pull into her drive.
Grabbing her barn coat from behind the door, she stepped out onto the porch, ducking back out of the cold wintry blast of frigid air, a frown creasing her face as she realized the vehicle was not familiar to her. Almost ready to go inside for her carbine, she sighed as a very familiar long legged figure climbed out of the battered old vehicle which looked as though it had seen better days in the First World War.
“My stars and garters, boy! What have you got there?” she called out as Vin briskly hurried to the porch, rubbing his gloved hands together, the cold vaporing his breath about his face.
“Hi, Nettie! Like my new ride?” He motioned to the primer gray painted Land Rover. Someone had chopped the top and it only had only vinyl half doors.
“Son, that’s far from new,” she pointed out as she hurried inside and held the door for him.
Removing his coat and brushing the worst of the flakes from his hair, he followed her into the kitchen where the oven gave off the homey smell of meat loaf as well as heat. “I knew you’s worried bout me ridin’ the Harley on these icy roads...” he admitted ducking his head and trailing off, embarrassed to admit he knew she worried about him.
“So you bought something with four wheels and no doors instead?” she teased, handing him a cup of hot coffee.
He flashed her a smile that warmed her heart. “Well,” he drawled, “didn’t want ya worryin’ none bout me. ‘Sides, don’t wanna wreck my bike on these roads,” adding, “Figured four wheels’s better than two in the winter.”
“That’s a point,” she admitted, “but ya still ain’t got the sense to keep your head dry...” she teased, pitching him a towel as the snow melt ran down his face.
Nettie bustled about, finishing up the meal as the young man settled into a chair, warmed by the heat. She talked, coaxing news out of him about Jamie and his classes. As he got up to help her set the table, he began talking about the children who lived in Puratorio and she paused to listen, realizing he worried about some of them as much as she had come to worry about him.
Not for the first time, she marveled at the concern this orphan showed towards other and wondered, with the life he had led, where he had learned such goodness.
Her regard for the young man growing each time he was around, she had finally cornered Jamie at home, and demanded he tell her what he knew of Vinton Tanner.
Her brother in law had set her down with a cup of coffee and explained how his first introduction to Vin had occurred.
He had been responding to a disturbance down in Purgatorio and foolishly had followed a fleeing suspect into a blind alley way, only to find himself surrounded by four other men who had been waiting in the shadows.
Realizing he was about to get the shit beat out of him, or worse, he had been stunned when a long haired shabbily dressed young man had stepped up beside him. With one look, the stranger took on two of them before Jamie could react.
The cop, amazed at the moves the young man was making, managed to subdue and cuff the other two. Calling for backup, he had turned around to find his helpful bystander had vanished without a trace.
Ten days later, answering another call, he had found that same young man assaulted in the same alley. Refusing to go to the hospital, Jamie had nonetheless dropped the man off at the homeless shelter where he’d tersely admitted staying. Returning the next morning, Jamie hadn’t been surprised when one of the workers admitted the young man had left as soon as Watson was out of sight. As far as the man knew, Vin had an apartment somewhere close by.
Something about the young man reached out to Jamie and he took it on himself to find out more. It had taken time, but he knew it had been time well spent. Vin Tanner had been worth saving.
Nettie listened quietly, the coffee forgotten as Jamie told her he had checked out the few things he had coaxed out of Tanner and the boy was indeed orphaned when he was five. His father was no where to be found and the motherless child had been shuffled around in the state’s foster care services. While there were a few notations of typical teen aged pranks, Tanner had no serious offenses against him and had joined the military when he was eighteen. Jamie admitted Vin never talked about the time he had spent in the Gulf and Jamie never pried.
When Tanner was discharged he had tried to find work, but having dropped out of school and never graduating, settling for his GED when he joined the army, the ex-solider had a hard time finding work, settling for minimum wage jobs that barely paid his rent.
He refused any hand outs offered, trying stubbornly to make his own way. A way which had him nearly starved to death when he encountered Jamie. Since then, the cop had made it a point to take the struggling man out to eat, keeping a watchful eye on him, and helped land him work with one of the many Puratorio storekeepers who respected and trusted the cop.
It was Jamie who had prompted the young man to try for the academy, pulling any and all strings he could to get the ex-soldier enrolled for he knew Tanner had it in him to make the grade.
Falling silent, Jamie looked at Nettie. “....And now you know the rest of the story,” he mimicked Paul Harvey.
“Is he gonna make it?” Nettie pried.
Jamie sighed. “Yeah. He has trouble with reading, but I’ve been tutoring him. It’s amazing to watch him. Never seen the like. Once he hears something, he remembers it.” He smiled, “Ya ever notice he don’t wear a watch, yet he’s always on time?” He shook his head. “Amazin’ young man.”
Nettie smiled as she stood to replace her cold coffee, and half teasing asked, “Ya think he’s too old to adopt?”
Jamie roared with laughter. “I’s about to ask you the same thing!”
*******
November slid in cold and snowy. Nettie fretted around the old farmhouse, hating to be cooped up during inclement weather, but knowing her stock was tended and faring well, she busied herself with inside activities and making plans for the upcoming holiday
Yet as Thanksgiving grew closer, the plans began to splinter. Casey canceled, having had an offer to go skiing in Vermont with some school friends. She had called, explained and begged Nettie’s forgiveness, promising to spend all of Christmas vacation with her instead. Broken hearted, but understanding, Nettie had told the child not to worry and to enjoy herself because she still had Jamie and Vin coming out to enjoy the day with her.
Yet the week before, as Vin readied to leave after spending a cold Saturday working on the barn roof where the snow had pulled the guttering loose, he admitted, much to her disappointment he already had plans. Trying not to let her disappointment show, she had smiled and assured him it was okay. Then the day before, Jamie had called. A shift mate’s wife had gone into labor and he had to fill-in for him. He was sorry, but he wouldn’t be making it after all.
Nettie had hung up the phone and looked around the kitchen. For some reason, tears gathered in her eyes. She was a strong woman who did not believe in the weakness of weeping for no good reason, but the sense of being alone, when she had so planned on having her ‘family ’ about her on this day of thanksgiving, tore at her heart.
She looked at the pies she had just pulled from the oven and at the fridge where a turkey was thawing and a ham was already cooked. She squared her shoulders. Well, she wasn’t about to let it all go to waste!
*******
The following morning, she was up extra early and tended her chores around the farm. Then cleaning up she carried all the food she had prepared and planned to prepare out to her truck. In short order she was loaded up and headed into town.
The roads had a icy slush to them as a thin squall of snow blew through and it took her longer than she planned, but finally she eased down Purgatorio’s snow covered main street. She stopped suddenly, the tires sliding in the slush as she recognized an all too familiar Land Rover sitting in front of a run down apartment.
There couldn’t be two such vehicles in the city...... Eyeing the run down building with its graffiti painted walls, and weather worn exterior, she realized the decrepit structure had to be where Tanner lived unless it was where his ‘other plans’ for the day had taken him.
Realizing what the young man did and who he did it with, was, after all, none of her business, she eased her pickup on up the road. She had looked up the address in the phone book and finally seeing the weather beaten old sign, she pulled to the curb.
Killing the engine, she bundled up her jacket and stepped out into the cold, hurrying to the door and slipping inside.
The large room was overly crowded with people and she had to push her way past the rather odorous crowd to the counter. Seeing a frazzled looking lady issuing instructions, she snagged her arm. “Excuse me. You in charge?”
The lady paused to swipe the hair from her eyes. “If you wanna call it that. Dinner’ll be ready in about an hour.” She eyed Nettie’s clean clothes pointedly.
Nettie smiled. “I’m not here for the meal. I-I brought some extra food if you could use it. My planned company canceled at the last minute. There’s turkey, ham, couple pies....”
She trailed off as the woman threw her arms about her and hugged her. “Oh, you angel! I was just telling my helpers we was gonna come up short! Bless you!” She gratefully hugged her again.
Nettie smiled, embarrassed. “You’re welcome. You got someone to help me carry it in?”
“Honey, I do got that! Hey, help this lady will ya?” She grabbed the arm of a passing young man and spun him around.
“Miz Nettie!?”
The old woman blinked in surprise at the sound of her name, then recognized the familiar blue eyes which gazed at her. “Vin?”
He motioned her off to one side out of the noisy press of people, his face puzzled. “How’dya find me?”
She laughed. “My stars and garters, son, I was just delivering all that food you wasn’t gonna be there to eat.”
“I thought Casey and Jamie....” He trailed off, understanding dawning. “Got canceled too, huh?” He gave her a lop sided smile. “And I know how ya hate to eat alone...” he teased, his eyes sparkling.
She nodded. “I hated for all this to go to waste. Speaking of which, you’re suppose to be helping me carry it all in.”
He followed her outside, gathering the bagged items from her truck and carrying them inside. He turned them over to the serving crew, then made his way back to where Nettie stood, pulling on her gloves, ready to leave.
“No,” he laid his hand on her arm. “Stay....we can have dinner together after all, if you don’t mind a couple hundred other folk joining in.”
Hearing the hopeful note in his voice, she nodded. “I think I’d like that.” Removing her coat, she nodded towards the kitchen. “Think they could use another pair of hands?”
A genuine smile lit the young man’s face. “Miz Nettie, they’d love it!” He accepted her coat and watched as she made her way to the kitchen.
*******
The last person finally shuffled out, and the mission workers sighed as they tiredly cleaned up the kitchen and tables. Nettie, despite keeping busy, had never enjoyed herself more. It wasn’t just the inner satisfaction of helping those less fortunate, for she had always jumped in and done her fair share in that area. It had been a wonderful day and she had learned more about Vin Tanner in those few hours than she had the entire time he had been visiting her farm.
She had watched as people, most of them homeless and down on their luck, stopped by to thank the shy young man, or to just say hello. Puzzled at first, it dawned on her he had obviously lived on the streets with them and they were happy to see one of their own making good.
Nettie had covertly observed the man’s actions, noting how he flushed and flustered at the softly uttered words given to him. Repeatedly she saw him shake his head and the softly drawled words ‘ain’t nothin’ nohow’ drifted to where she was.
But what pleased her most was when the young homeless kids rushed up to the quiet Texan. He would light up and glow.... nothing more than a big kid himself as he gave each of them equal time and attention. Jamie had been right. Vin Tanner had a heart as big as the outdoors he loved so much. The other helpers wandered on out, leaving Vin to lock up. He helped Nettie into her coat and she stood pulling on her gloves, really hating to leave.
“Thanks, Miz Nettie,” he offered with simple heart felt sincerity.
She nodded. “Happy to do it,” she admitted and realized it was true.
“I’m gonna be busy the next coupla days... gotta study, but maybe Sunday, iffen the weather’s nice, I’ll be out your way,” he promised as he shrugged into his battered leather jacket and reached to flip off the lights.
Nettie stepped outside, and the cold gusty wind nearly took her breath away. “Oh, fudge!” she exclaimed.
Vin turned from locking the door and saw what had caused her consternation.
It had snowed heavily throughout the day and the snowplow had made a pass down the road, effectively piling the snow around her truck, blocking her in.
She circled the old vehicle, kicking at the packed snow. “Damnation!” she swore, bringing a smile to the young man’s face with the veracity she managed to imbue in the one word.
“That ain’t goin’ nowhere tonight,” he pointed out needlessly as he motioned toward the truck. His response garnered a disgusted glare from the older woman and he hastily added, “Ya could call Jamie...”
She shook her head. “He’s worked a double shift and don’t need to be out traipsing after the likes of me on a night like this.” She snuggled her coat a little tighter against the wind and looked up and down the snow packed street. “I’ll just call a cab...”
His firm hand clasped her arm as Vin shook his head. “C’mon.” He attempted to steer her up the street.
“Where?” she demanded, digging her heels in.
"If the plow got your truck, got mine, too. Cab'll cost ya a fortune and there ain't a decent motel around... So I guess I got me a houseguest for the night... Course my bike ain't snowed in." A lop sided grin danced across his face as the wind ruffled his hair. “Do want ya to know I don’t normally take stranded ladies home with me.”
Still not quite sure but knowing she couldn’t stay on the street and odds were a taxi wouldn’t even venture into this part of Purgatorio at night, she gave a slight nod and, his hand tucked securely under her arm least she slip on the ice, they moved up the street.
*******
The single stark light glowing in the old building’s entrance way did little to defeat the night’s gathering darkness as Vin pushed open the outer door and ushered Nettie inside the foyer, out of the biting wind. She blinked as she pushed down her collar and her eagle eyes saw the decrepit interior appearance of the apartment building.
Peeling paint, sagging ceiling tile, dirt encrusted floors..... It was a wonder the Board of Health hadn’t condemned it. She squared her shoulders and fortified herself as Vin motioned her up the narrow dim stairway.
The second floor was in no better shape than the first and she tried not to stare at some of the messes which littered the hallway floor. When Vin stopped by a door marked 214, and pushed it open, she took a deep breath and stepped inside, then blurted out, “You don’t lock your door?”
Vin grinned as he followed her inside and closing the door, he shrugged off his jacket. “They want in, they’d just kick it down,” he responded sagely.
Blinking with the realization he was probably right, she slowly removed her coat, looking around the room, her breath catching in surprise as she handed it to him and he hung it next to his.
The apartment was a complete turn around from the rest of the building. It was small, but neat, clean, and bright. A battered old sofa occupied most of the living space. A small table, with a stack of books half hiding it, sat beside it and beyond she saw a tiny kitchen, the Formica counter clean, with a cup, bowl, and silverware in a drying rack.
Looking around she saw a door ajar, evidencing a bath, and another door slightly open revealing a tiny bedroom beyond.
She nodded, seeing the question in the blue eyes which watched her reaction. “This is nice, Vin.” Curious, she moved toward one wall and stood looking at several photographs.
They were nature shots: a field of wildflowers in colorful bloom, a stately old aspen golden in an evening dusky light, a doe and fawn feeding in a meadow surrounded by butterflies, an eagle perched in a gnarled old pine.
She nodded approval at the subject matter. “Someone has a great eye.” Vin ducked his head, his face flushing and she stared at him as realization dawned on her.
“You...you took these?”
He nodded in embarrassment, his gaze on the floor. “Yes’am. I had one of those throwaway cameras..... Needed some way to capture...” He trailed off, shaking his head.
“You did these?” She repeated.
He nodded.
“My stars and garters! What you could do with a good camera!” She turned back to look at the shots, moved by the simple beauty captured by the young man. He was constantly surprising her.
He shook his head and moved for the kitchen, changing the subject. “Coffee?” Without waiting for an answer, he filled the coffee maker and pulled down two cups from a cabinet shelf. “Make yourself at home,” he offered belatedly as she finally settled on the couch and removed her boots.
She gave him a smile as she rubbed her aching arches. “Didn’t know I’s gonna be on my feet all day.”
He nodded, kicking off his own boots. She absently noted the white socks he wore were bright and showed no holes. Filling two cups, he padded over to hand her one, then sank down Indian style on the floor by the sofa.
Nettie started to protest, then realized he hadn’t have any chairs. Noting he ducked his head as if he had read her mind, she motioned to the stack of books beside him.
“Homework?” she questioned taking a sip of the bitterly strong coffee and grimacing.
“Yes’am.”
“They piling it on you?” she asked, remembering how her own students had hated homework of any kind.
He nodded. “But it’s interestin’, “ he admitted.
She took that to mean he was enjoying it and smiled, remembering her first impression of him and how she had thought he was slow witted. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Back then he had only spoken when she talked to him, but she had gradually coaxed him out of that silent shell and while he was still extremely quiet, he was becoming more at ease with people. Although watching him at the mission that day she wasn’t so sure.
“Jamie says you’re doing fine. When is graduation?” she questioned taking another sip of coffee.
“Coupla weeks.” He fell silent, staring into his cup and Nettie sat watching him. She knew him well enough to know something was on his mind. She knew he would worry over it and when he found the words, he would speak of it. She sat quietly, waiting.
He finally huffed out a breath as if he had reached his decision and raising his eyes, he looked up at her. “Miz Nettie?” She nodded. “Would- could... well, ya reckon ya might wanna come?” He flustered. “To the ceremony, I mean. I’d be right proud iffen ya could be there,” he finally blurted out, heaving a deep breath at having gotten the question out in the open.
“I’d be honored, Vin.” She knew the other cadets would have parents, family and friends, and other than Jamie and her, Vin had no one.... She suddenly realized they were his family..... “Ya sure ya want to be seen with me?” she teased, watching his eyes sparkle.
“As ya said, ma’am, I’d be honored.” The deep emotion in his voice stirred her and she ducked her head, feigning a yawn. “Well... I guess I’d best be dragging off to bed.....”
Vin scrambled to his feet. “Bedroom’s in there. Sheets and all are clean. There's some shirts in the dresser ya can sleep in.”
She looked around. “Where are you going to sleep?”
He motioned to the sofa. “I usually fall asleep here anyway.” He tugged an old well used granny squared afghan and pillow from behind the couch. “I’ll be fine here, Miz Nettie,” he assured her.
“Well, if I’m not putting you out any.” She moved for the bedroom door.
“You could never do that, ma’am,” he called after her softly and she turned back around to smile at him. “Night, Miz Nettie.”
“Good night, son,” She saw him start and then a soft look settled on his face and he gave her a short nod as she turned and entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
*******
The strange city noises, alien to her, disturbed Nettie’s sleep off and on throughout the night. Loud vehicles, voices, sirens.... she would never lament about the howling wolves again. She finally fell into a fitful doze and awoke to daylight streaking in the small window and the aroma of coffee. She heard voices in the other room and curiosity got the better of her.
Pushing from the bed, she quickly dressed and made the bed, smiling to herself over the pastel colored sheets. That boy was just full of surprises, she realized.
Brushing her fingers through her hair, she stepped out into the living room. Half a dozen children of various ages sat around the room, drinking hot chocolate and eating donuts. As one they turned to stare at her, and one, a bright eyed little boy of about twelve whispered, “That the Truck Lady, Vin?”
Surpressing a smile at Nettie’s puzzled look, Vin nodded. “Yes, Manny, that’s her. Mornin’,” he offered, gaining his feet and moving to the kitchen. “Coffee or hot chocolate?”
“Coffee.” She moved to sit down in the space they had cleared for her on the sofa.
,p> “Miz Nettie, this is Manny, Tina, Jose, Emile, Sally, and TC.” He motioned to each of the children in turn and they nodded to her, as they studied her up and down. She had the distinct feeling she was being put to a test and wondered if she passed muster.
“Well, you’re all up early,“ she said, accepting the mug of coffee. “Taking advantage of the snow and the holiday?” she questioned.
“What’s ‘van’age mean?” Sally asked, with a wide eyed look.
“Means we’s gonna enjoy the day,” Manny hissed.
“Yes, ma’am, Miz Nettie,” Sally bobbed her head. “We is.”
The teacher in her winced inwardly at the fractured use of English, but she said nothing, realizing her own use of the English language had taken a turn for the worse, working around the ranch hands.
Tina shyly slid the box of donuts closer to her, but it was Manny who spoke,
“We made Vin save ya the glazed ones. He usually eats them all,” he explained, slapping at the young man’s hand as he playfully grabbed for another.
“Thank you.” Nettie accepted the drippy donut and munched on it as she surveyed the little group.
“We done told Vin we’d do it fer n’thin’, but he paid us,” Jose proclaimed happily.
Nettie frowned in puzzlement as she lowered her cup. “Paid?” She looked up at the young man who had flushed pink at the child’s declaration.
“We dug out your truck!” Jose announced proudly.
Nettie started. “You what?”
“We dug out your truck. Man, it was buried good!” Manny repeated as the other children nodded. “But we got it out, didn’t we, Vin?”
With a shrug, Vin nodded, trying to ignore the look Nettie aimed in his direction.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she whispered to him, low voiced.
“We wanted to!” Jose answered, thinking she was talking to them. “We’s gonna play in the snow anyway and Vin was diggin’ so we pitched in and helped him.”
“Yeah, anything to help the Truck Lady.”
Nettie shook her head, looking at Vin.
“They mean you, Miz Nettie.”
She smiled. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but never that.”
Shortly, bundling up against the cold, she was ready to leave and followed the children outside, appalled to discover several of them wore just thin jackets against the weather, with no boots, no gloves and no hats. They must have froze digging out her truck.
Vin followed them down, and as they stepped outside the entrance way, she first noted his Jeep had also been dug out and sat cleared of snow. She swung around to look at the young man who gave her a lop sided grin.
“Ya didn’t think I’s gonna let ya take off for home by yourself, didcha?” he questioned.
“Young man, I’ve been traveling these icy Colorado roads since before you were a sparkle in your daddy’s eye.....” she trailed off seeing the hurt look flicker over his face, unsure if it was her words or her ungrateful tone which caused it.
“Jist wanted to make sure ya got home safe,” he admitted, ducking his head.
She sighed heavily. “Well, since you’re dug out, you might as well follow me. Otherwise you’ll come after me anyway, won’t you?” she questioned and saw a small nod. “I knew it.” Snugging her gloves, she pulled her keys from her pocket and started up the block to where her truck sat. “I’ll have the coffee on when you get there,” she called back as Vin vaulted into his own truck, the canvas tarp he used to keep the snow out of the parked vehicle, laying in a bundle behind the driver's seat.
*******
Yet later, she was grateful for the young Texan’s insistence when he pushed her out of the ditch for the third time. The roads had been plowed, but it had only served to bare the ice below and despite her years of driving, she found herself ditch bound.
Each time, the battered old Rover would pull to a stop and the Texan would leap out, bodily shoving her truck from the deep drifts. The normal half hour trip from town took over three hours.
Nettie heaved a deep sigh of relief as the truck finally slid into its usual parking spot next to the barn. Wearily climbing from the vehicle, she stretched the tenseness from her shoulders due to being hunched over the wheel. She looked around, but saw no sign of Vin. She knew he had been right behind her when she had pulled in the lane.
Debating, realizing she should give him a few more minutes before making the trip back down the lane to be certain he wasn't stuck, she hurried into the house and quickly stripping out of her winter gear, she filled the coffee pot and set it to brew as she turned on the oven.
Throwing several towels in the dryer and setting it to warm, she looked out to see headlights inching down the lane and released a sigh of relief.
It was several long minutes before she heard the crunch of snow under feet and the back door opened, admitting the young man. He looked half frozen, his cheeks red with the cold and wind and his thin shoulders were hunched in the jacket. He was rubbing his hands together, and the snow in his hair was melting, the water running down his face. He stripped off the jacket and stood shivering in the middle of the kitchen floor
“Here, boy,” she pitched the warmed towels to him and he gratefully wrapped them about his shoulders and used one to briskly rub his hair. She grabbed a blanket from the linen shelf and stepping up to him; she wrapped it about his shoulders and forced the ends in his hands. “Sit down by the oven...”
He complied, dropping into the old wooden chair, letting the heat seep into his body. He closed his eyes, relaxing in the warmth.
Nettie shoved a cup of hot coffee in his hand. “Drink,” she ordered brusquely.
“Yes’am,” he mumbled, taking a long swallow.
She leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him. “Well, you ain’t going back out in this mess today,” she declared firmly.
His head came up. “But...”
“No, buts, Vin Tanner! It’s too dangerous out there. You end up in the ditch, you’d be stuck. You saw...we didn’t meet anyone on the way out.... I won’t let you go back out,” she repeated firmly.
“I got four wheel drive and snow tires. I’ll do fine,” he stated stubbornly.
“I got two legs and snow boots, but that don’t mean nothing. You’re staying here tonight and that’s final.” Her stubborn tone and the set of her mouth cleared stated the subject was not open for discussion.
“Yes’am.” he agreed, stirring slightly to reach and refill his cup.
Returning to the utility room she rummaged around, returning with a pair of sweats over her arm. “Go get outta them wet things before you catch yer death...” She handed him the dry clothes and motioned to the bathroom.
He complied, coming back later dressed in gray sweats several sizes too large for his slim frame.
Nettie smiled. “Jamie left those here......” she explained as he padded in dry sock feet, throwing his own clothes in the dryer before settling back to the warm place by the oven.
"Reckon I shoulda took care a the chores ‘fore I changed."
“Reckon ya should do what yer told." Nettie scolded. "I...we can take care a chores in a bit. Ya warming up any?” she questioned. He nodded slowly. “Yes’am.” he admitted, sighing lowly in the warmth. “Don’t recall ever bein’ so cold, ‘lessen it was the time I...” He looked up, trailing off.
Nettie tried to ignore the unfinished sentence as she bustled about the kitchen. “I got some ham salad or some turkey and dressing in here if you ain’t turkeyed out, “ she offered, pulling the containers from the fridge shelves.
“That’ll be fine, ma’am, but don’t go to no trouble on my account.”
“Pshaw! Ya ain’t no trouble.” She busied herself at the stove, heating up food and making sandwiches as Vin semi-dozed in the chair by the heat. Glancing over at him, she realized he looked so much like a rumpled little boy it shook her. He was too young to have suffered the things Jamie had discovered. Far too young....
As the meal heated, she moved to build a fire in the old stone fireplace and soon had a cozy fire crackling and popping.
*******
Assuring her he could handle what needed to be done, Vin had spent the afternoon taking care of things Nettie normally would have done that morning, once again changing into the sweats and dozing off in the chair near the oven as she prepared dinner.
Hating to disturb Vin when he looked so comfortable, she nonetheless woke him, and they ate. He was quiet and she did not press him to talk.
She pushed to her feet. “I’ll go make up the guest room.”
Vin shook his head. “No, ma’am, that’ll be fine.” He nodded to the floor by the fireplace.
“Mister Tanner, my guests do not ordinarily sleep on my floor....”
“Don’t wanna put ya out none. ‘Sides, the fire’s real nice....” he admitted softly.
“Well, I never.....” She trailed off and slowly nodded. “Let me get ya some blankets. It won’t be so warm when it dies down later.” She headed into the guest room to pull blankets and an extra pillow from the shelf. Returning, she dropped the items on the sofa, surprised to find he wasn't in the living room.
Nettie stopped in the kitchen doorway, her jaw dropping at the sight of the young man washing the dirty supper dishes. “Vin Tanner! I’m gonna take a switch to your backside! Get away from that sink!”
He turned to look at her, his hands remaining in the soapy water. “Least I can do...”
Seeing her angry expression, he dropped his head and withdrawing his hands from the water, he wiped them on a hand towel as she stubbornly pointed to the sofa in the other room.
“Git outta my kitchen, boy.”
“Yes,am,” he mumbled and moved to sink down on the floor by the fire.
She quickly finished off the few items left and drying them, she shook her head. It still amazed her he felt he had to do something to ‘pay’ for her kindness.
Placing the last of the silverware in the tray, she dried her hand and pouring two cups of coffee, she moved to where he sat, offering him one. He accepted it quietly and sat staring into the steaming mug.
Nettie dropped down in her old Hepplewhite chair. “Ya know,” she started, then hesitated, afraid of hurting his feelings again, but wanting him to understand, “ya don’t have to do things to earn the right to be here, Vin.”
His head came up and she saw his jaw working as he stared at the flickering fire.
After several long minutes, he spoke, his voice soft, “When I’s just a little fella, passed from home ta home, iffen I pitched in and done my chores and more, they’s more apt ta keep me ‘round.” He ducked his head, twisting the mug in his hands. “I hated it. Always havin’ ta say and act all grateful like for the things they done fer me, no matter what it ‘twas.” He pulled haunted blue eyes from the mug long enough to look up in her face before averting his eyes again. “’Wasn’t that I wasn’t ‘pprecitive, I jist hated havin’ to say it, ya know?” His voice pleaded for her understanding.
She nodded, her old blue eyes glistening brightly. “I know, son,” she whispered.
“Guess ‘em habits die hard,” his grin flashed ruefully. “Don’t mean ta offend ya none, Miz Nettle, but I like helpin’ ya out..... Even iffen ya didn’t want me ta stay around.”
Her old heart broke at the little boy lost quaver in his voice. “Son, you did help me out and don’t you ever think I don’t want you around. Makes this old body feel right good to have a fine young man like yourself working around the place and sitting down at my table to eat. You know anytime you want, the door is always open...you just walk right on in. Ya don't have to come out here just cause something needs done. I'm pleased just ta have ya come visit.” She saw the look on his face and softly added, “Reckon it’d do my old soul good to know ya might come to think of this place as home...”
He raised bright blue eyes up to stare at her in surprise. After several moments, he choked out, “I’d be right proud, Miz Nettie, iffen yer sure ya don’t mind.”
“Mind? My stars and garters, boy, ain’t ya heard a word I just said?”
He ducked his head and chewed on his lower lip. “Sometimes, folk just say things they don’t mean, just ta be polite...” he whispered, and she once again heard that lost little boy tone in his voice, uncertain and unsure where he stood or where he belonged.
Nettie’s eyes flashed and she pushed to her feet, moving to rummage in her desk. She withdrew an item and crossed to press it into his hand. “Here…”
Focusing on the small object, his eyes widened in surprise and he looked up at her. “Ma’am?”
“Go on, now..... This’s your home for as long as ya want it to be.”
He tried to hand it back to her, but she shook her head and moved to sit back down, watching the wondrous look which came to his face as he stared at the old brass house key in his hand. And she felt, if only for the moment, perhaps in some small way it made up for all the lost places of his youth.
*******
Nettie awoke to the wind howling outside the window and glancing at the bedside clock, she saw it was a little past two a.m. Worried the fire might have gone out in the other room; she slipped from her bed and pulled on her robe and slippers.
Quietly, she opened the door and moved into the living room.
The fire had died down to golden embers which shed their feeble glow across the dim room. Glancing at the blankets spread out before the fireplace, she was surprised to see them empty with no sign of Tanner. She frowned, and then looking closer, she saw him sitting, knees drawn up to his chest, back pressed against the sofa, staring into the dying fire.
“Vin?” She stepped closer, her voice low. “Vin, you all right?”
He gave no sign of hearing her and for half a second, her heart lurched, as she worried about this strange young man being in her house, but then she mentally shook herself. This was Vin Tanner......
She moved to the sofa, softly calling his name again as she settled down near him.
“Vin?” Nettie reached out to rest a gnarled old hand on his shoulder. “Somethin’ wrong, boy?” she questioned, thinking maybe he had suffered a nightmare.
His chin dropped to his chest and his ragged breath caught, but he did not speak.
“Vin?” A more strident tone crept into the word than she wanted, but afraid he was ill, she leaned closer, persisting, “What’s wrong, son?”
At the last word, she felt him shudder and gasp aloud as he pulled away from her hand. Very faintly she heard him protest. “Don’t....”
Frowning, she straightened slightly, her tone puzzled as she questioned, “You going to talk to me, Vin?” He seemed to draw himself tighter within himself and she sighed heavily. “Can’t help you if you won’t talk to me...” she pointed out gently.
“Don’t need...” he whispered.
“Yeah, I know you don’t need nothing or no body, but how about wanting....something?”
He drew in a deep ragged breath, and his chin bent lower. “Don’t...” he pleaded again, the one whispered broken word carrying no weight.
She reached out, again resting her hand on his shoulder. “Talk to me, Vin Tanner.”
She could feel his slender shoulders trembling under her touch and concern flooded through her.
But as he slowly raised his head and looked at her, her heart broke. There were no words to describe the utter emptiness she saw in the shimmering blue depths. Without thinking, disregarding the fact her old body would complain and ache later, she slid off the sofa to the hardwood floor and without thinking, wrapped her arms about Vin’s thin shoulders.
It was his undoing and resting his forehead against her tired old shoulder, Vin began to shudder as deep, agonizing sobs tore from him. Not sure the cause, Nettie just held him, quietly rocking him.
The fire was totally out and the room was shadowed in darkness as the wind howled to the heavens outside the walls. Nettie sat quietly holding the young man, as his sobs turned to hiccups, then trailed off into hitching breaths.
He finally pulled away from her, swiping at his eyes and she dropped her hands into her lap, but remained where she was, waiting for him to speak, wondering if he even would.
He finally drew in a shuddering sigh and raised his head to stare at the ashes of the fire.
Nettie could see his long fingers nervously toying with the bottom edge of the oversized shirt he wore. She smiled to herself. Vin was a man of few words and he studied long and hard before he gave them voice.....
“Sorry, ma’am...” were the first softly uttered words she heard and a scowl came to her face.
“My stars and garters, son, what have you got to be sorry for?” she demanded, not unkindly.
“I-I-I.... don’t.....” he shook his head, not finishing.
“I know,” she spoke softly, “a man isn’t supposed to show emotions, but sometimes, it does a soul good. Good cry never hurt anybody.”
He shrugged, still toying with the shirt and not looking at her. She waited patiently as the minutes dragged by, sighing softly to herself when he didn’t speak. He was worse than a turtle when he closed himself up in that protective wall he’d put around himself.
Well, she knew there was more than one way to knock chinks in a wall.....
“You gonna tell me what’s ailing you, or you want me to start guessing?”
He shook his head and she hid a smile, unsure which part of the question he was responding to.
Then, his voice almost child like, he questioned, “Ya ever want somethin’ so bad--so bad it hurt--” he pressed a closed fist to his chest, “here?”
The painful memory of having no child to carry on her husband’s blue eyes and sweet smile surfacing, she quietly uttered a soft “yes...”
The silence stretched long again before he stirred and spoke, “After my mama died, I’s just a little feller,” he held out his hand, measuring a child’s height from the floor, “and when I’s shuffled from one place ta ‘nother, always hoped someone’d want ta keep me, ya know? Keep me and give me a place a my own, someplace I’d be safe and warm. Someplace..” his voice was a mere whisper, ‘where I’d be.... loved....”
She had to strain to hear the last word and her eyes filled with pain at the hurt still so raw in his voice after all the years. She couldn’t speak as the lump in her throat nearly choked her.
He took a deep breath, “Use’ta think ‘bout the kinda home I’d want. Knowin’ I’s never gonna have one, so it was like a dream, ya know? One of ‘em elusive ones, and use’ta picture an old farmhouse, smellin’ like fresh cookies bakin’, and bright and airy in the summer, warm and snug with a fire burning in the fireplace on cold winters’ nights..... Cozyin’ down in a pile of quilts and someone slippin’ in ta check on me in the middle of ta night... not coz they had to, but coz they loved me and worried ‘bout me….” He finally turned to look at her and in the dim light she saw his azure eyes shimmering brightly with unshed tears, “and someone callin’ me ‘son’....and meanin’ it...” he whispered.
Realization struck her like a physical blow as she saw the look on his face. It had not been a frightening nightmare which had disturbed his sleep, but the realization of a long held dream.... Her own eyes welled and spilled, tears slipping down her cheek as she reached out to cup her callused hand to his wet cheek.
He leaned against it, closing his eyes with a soft sigh of contentment and neither of them spoke as the cold no longer lonely night drifted into morning.
*******
In the following days and weeks, there was a soft contentment surrounding Tanner. A self assurance, and peace with himself. Jamie remarked on it, but Nettie just smiled. If Vin wanted the older man to know, it was his place to tell him. She was just happy the young man had finally found his place…. And that he shared his life with her.
To her, he was the son she had never had, and she couldn’t have been prouder those weeks later, as she stood in the gathered crowd at Vin’s graduation. She did not try to contain her tears of happiness as he crossed the podium and accepted the badge and ID confirming his place in the department from the police commissioner, his own smile dazzling bright.
As the graduates were dismissed, he pressed though the throng and made it to her side, grabbing her in a fierce hug and actually lifting her off her feet.
“I did it, Nettie! I did it!”
The joy in his voice made her old heart sing. All Vin Tanner had needed was someone to believe in him and lend him a helping hand…
As he settled her back on her feet, his expression widened even further as he saw the people who stood around them: Jamie, Casey, the children and families from the apartment building, the homeless shelter workers…. Nettie had contacted each of them, asking them to help made Vin’s day special. It was the least she could do….
He grabbed her again, hugging her as he whispered a heartfelt thank you for her ears only…. It had been the happiest day of his young life….
*******
And now, months later, here he sat in her kitchen, his heart broken beyond all reason. He had tossed aside his dress uniform jacket and tie, and sat, staring blankly at the table top, tears silently tracking down his pale cheeks.
She had already grieved. As she grew older, it still never seemed to get any easier to say that final goodbye. “Vin…”
He didn’t seem to hear her, as she moved to heat up coffee. Wondering how long it had been since he had truly eaten, she began making a ham sandwich, knowing she would most likely have to force it down him. Her actions paused for a moment, remembering how many times she had gone through these very same motions for Jamie.
“Here, son…” She slid the sandwich plate in front of him and placed the coffee cup next to it. “You have to eat something.”
He shoved the plate away and dropped his face into his hands. His shoulders heaved as ragged sobs, torn from the depth of his aching soul, filled the room.
Nettie gained her feet and moved to his side, bending slightly to gather him in a gentle embrace. He moved enough to wrap his arms about her waist and his shuddering sobs shook them both as she stood, tears rolling down her face as she stroked his hair. “Oh, Vin….”
His words were muffled. “Why… why, Nettie?”
“I don’t know, Son. It was just Jamie’s way…” She had heard from the other officers what had happened.. How Jamie and Vin had responded to an ordinary domestic disturbance call and shots had been fired. Jamie had been hit, and Vin…Vin’s grasp had to be pried off the wounded man who had died in his arms.
She grieved for the loss of her brother in law—for his gentle ways, his booming laugh, his big heart, and his selfless love, but even as she mourned Jamie Watson, her heart ached even harder for Vin Tanner…. He had suffered so much in his young life, and now this….
But, she tightened her hold on him, they would get through it. They would both survive the loss and be stronger. They would make it. She knew that with all her heart. Because of Jamie, this quiet intelligent Texan was in her heart. No matter what happened in the future, Vin Tanner would always have Nettie Wells in his corner….
THE END